Oprah,Oprah,Oprah -On A-Ha Moments and the Vernacularization of the Vajajay

Okay, let's just start off by saying that I do not hate Oprah Winfrey. She is a goddess of commerce having revolutionized not just the talk show genre but also the way that women, most especially minority women, women who do not necessarily represent society's ideal of beauty are perceived in the workplace.

Now then:

1. On a show last week she inferred that it was she in her infinite wisdom who coined or popularized the concept of 'A-ha moments' in her magazine. Yes dear, and that nice Gore boy invented the internet.
2. The Styles section of today's times is emblazoned with the popularization of the word 'vajayjay' to describe female genitalia. Eve Ensler may be annoying, but she at least is not guilty of further infantilizing women's popular culture by jumping on the "euphemism treadmill" (the brilliant phrase used in the article by Steven Pinker, a psychology professor at Harvard) in the way that Oprah seeks to. In short, vajayjay first appeared on that bastion of well coiffed/whining in scrubs actors, Grey's Anatomy (surely Dr. Henry Gray's proudest moment is in having inspired this sub-moronic nighttime version of General Hospital), the moment should have been forgotten or buried in reruns, but instead was better known for inspiring new slang. I could go on, but I pray that you choose wisely when describing your privates, and even more wisely when jumping on the idiotic bandwagon determined to create immediate pop culture slang to sneak past censors- everything from asshat to Generation Q. You are better, funnier, more original and creative than that- rise above.
3. Would someone care to elucidate me as to when the mutually masturbatory practice of celebrities gifting other celebrities with garish displays of wealth became (entertainment) news worthy? Apparently to thank La Winfrey for gently nudging her book to #1 on the bestseller lists, Jessica Seinfeld sent her 21 pairs of what Winfrey describes as being "the most sick shoes" including Christian Louboutins and other trinkets of the rich and feckless.

Not all celebrities are role models. Not all women in power empower women. One hopes though, that they could at least try a little harder not to provide so much less.

Onward Christian Dior Soldiers....

Deceptively Suspicious- Creamed Spinach Copycat

While I blithely went on commenting on plucky little Jessica Seinfeld's meteoric rise to the top of the book charts (Shock! Amazement! How could it happen?) I completely forgot to mention the story in the New York Times today that elucidates certain similarities in her new book Deceptively Delicious with a previously published cookbook. Now, interesting conundrum, ya think they're going to blame the ghost or 'fess up that it's a miraculous case of synchronicity?

Yum yum. I'm just dying to eat over at the Seinfelds' now- pureed spinach in brownies! It doesn't get any better than that...

Jerry says: “Let’s be realistic — my wife isn’t in this for the money or the publicity.” (Which is why she appeared on Oprah, and which is why JS then made Kissy poo to the big O to thank her for pushing Mrs. S's book to #1!)
Jess says: “I can’t explain a coincidence like this,” Ms. Seinfeld said, “but I applaud it and I wish there were 10 more books like mine because I’m not in this for a competition, I’m in this to help families.”

Which is why the book is actually not sold in stores but given away for free, why Jess has decided to forgo an advance and royalties in favor of donations to orphanages. Yeah right, and I can wear the Calvins I wore in high school. It's nice to know that this was a labor of altruism on the part of the Seinfelds because celebrities never, ever try to cash in on their fame and fortune with vanity book projects.

Chew on that...

The Lord of The (Engagement) Rings

Okay, if Ivana's ring was a bit over the top, Andria Castellano (of that family?) was maybe more inappropriate. I mean who the hell gives a 21 year old a ring worth $48,800.00? Dean Kuehnen Jr. did, but now that the engagement is off (awww. poor babies) he's suing to get the 3.23-carat ring back.

The legal action states: "The sole and exclusive consideration, motivation and reason for buying the ring was the contemplated marriage," Note the use of the word contemplated. Like, um, huh, I'd like to think about it for a while - while sporting this ginormous rock.

A lot of my PR friends in NYC employ a similar tactic- instead of The Starter Wife, we used to call it the first fiance. See the thought process is that guys only want what they can't have, so an engaged woman is doubly as enticing as a single one, and in the case of Jerry Seinfeld and wife Jessica (lucky girl, her hubby just bought her ((ghostwriter?)) a best seller), or Prince Charles and Camil-ugh, a married one is even sexier.

Ain't love grand?