Publicists Gone Wild

File this one under 'O' for over the top publicists trying to eclipse their clients .

Publicist Michele Elyzabeth (who has obviously been hit with both the crazy stick and the Botox stick) has apparently decided to singlehandedly provide the viewing public with her antidote to the writer's strike in the form of a video rant against media-lite figures like Joy Behar and Barbara Walters of The View.

Elyzabeth, who represents the equally excitable Heather Mills, has released a new video blog on which she takes on all those bad, nasty ladies who said mean things about Heather.

Highlights include:

**After an appearance on The View, Mills had to rush home to be with her daughter and could not do the requisite ass kissing, I mean interviews, or according to Elyzabeth 'social work.' See, so that's why the former Lady McCartney thinks she's so freakin' charitable, if being interviewed on the View is akin to social work, well then, I guess being on Dancing With The Stars is actually treading on Mother Teresa territory.
**Elyzabeth refers to Joy Behar as a "horrible human being" and declares that Barbara Walters is something of a "storyteller of a tabloid magazine." I won't necessarily argue that second point, but I'd never make it in supposed defense of a client who refers on the goodwill of said tabloid.

Anyway, there was much talk of saint Heather, and "someone as big as she is" not having an ego and all.

Now, I may not be a publicist, but I do know a thing or two about good publicity:

• Never make your client look like a gold-digging-psycho with a saint complex
• If you do in fact make your client look like a gold-digging-psycho with a saint complex, never release a video blog in which you make yourself, your pooch and your dubious PR buddy look even more psycho than your gold-digging-psycho with a saint complex client.

I think we've all learned something here today.

As You Were...

All You Need Is Bucks....

Heather Mills (who still insists that she's 39) went off on British and then US television about estranged hubby Sir Paul McCartney and daughter Stella (I'll keep having babies in the hopes that I get more of daddy's money while simultaneously launching unfunky uninteresting yet still strangely compelling fashion lines and noone will notice that I'm only slapping my name on a label and not actually doing much of anything) McCartney.

Mills insists that the marriage fizzled because her former Beatles hubby wasn't as committed to charity as she was, and that she HAD to record all of their conversations because thousands of people depend on her. (Who? the people who voted her off Dancing with the Stars?)

“We’ve had death threats, I was never offered security.” Heather said she was prepared to use tapes of Sir Paul and her speaking to clear her name — because lives depended on her charity work.

She said: “Why do you think I’ve had to record every single conversation? Because nobody will believe me. But I have to clear my name. I’m responsible for thousands of people’s lives, that’s a fact.”

Heather tossed her hair angrily on Brit morning TV and dramatically (lots of hair tossing here) compare herself to Lady Diana and Madeline McCann's parents in terms of pain and suffering caused by the paparazzi. Scroll down and watch the video, it's entertaining if not well acted.

Mills claims there's a lot of evidence stashed in a safe somewhere. Now that I'd like to see.

Sorry one last Heatherism: On ABC’s Good Morning America, Heather said: “He promised he would protect me. I said, ‘If you don’t, my career will be ruined and will have to fight back’. But I’ve never been protected."

See, here's where I have to draw the line- what career?

As You Were...