Stars [barely] Behind Bars

Just in case you've been fretting that our justice system is all out of whack, you'll sleep better knowing that very scary criminal types like Lindsay Lohan are paying their debts to society.

People reports that LiLo served a 24-hour jail sentence- in a record 84 minutes due to early release policy. As part of her plea deal she'll also be required to contribute ten days of community service at an Americans Red Cross blood services facility. Which means that we'll probably have to suffer through a public service announcement of LiLo looking all kinds of serious, urging us to donate blood.

So here's where I take further offense to the system.
Linz drinks.
Linz drives.
Linz drives drunk (or was that a Hilton or a Richie? maybe both) gets caught, spends less time behind bars than theatergoers spent suffering through Georgia Rule, and now we will eventually have to pay the price by watching PSAs urging us to give blood or vote or stop taking crack?

Where's the justice in that?

As You Were....

M.I.L.F. (Mothers I'd Like to Fine)

Here's a (lowbrow) pop (culture) quiz for this gloomy Friday:

Which limelight hogging stage mother recently said:

• "There are so many misconceptions about me and my family. I'm setting the record straight."
• "It's about empowering women to be successful single mothers,"

and let us not forget

• "About being in the limelight without compromising motherhood. It's about what I do, how you can be successful, and be a single mom and fulfilling your kids' dreams."

If you guessed *we wonder how our life turned out this way* Queen Elizabeth or Uma *I'll do anything for a photo op* Thurman you're way off base because it's really *SHOCK* Dina Lohan or as I like to call her- Momma I've got no talent/no scruples/no dignity/let me keep pimping out my kid until every fiber of her fame and dignity has been extinguished and I can go on to the next one.

In an interview in People mag (I think it's People), Lohan the Senior (I know she's not that old, but she IS that scary and surgerized, so it is our civic duty to mock her) talks about how committed she is to clearing up misconceptions - so committed in fact that she's going to star in a reality TV series on E to talk about it. (Yawn+Barf. Will this onslaught of reality dreck never stop?) Apparently, she brought cameras into rehab with her and Linz, and refers to herself as the 'White Oprah' (Woprah?).

Breaking shrews, er news. Apparently Britney's mom is going to pen a tell all memoir in which according to a source she will will "give readers and fans a revealing look into her “personal story” of grooming Britney, 25, and Jamie Lynn, 16, into big-time celebs “while coming from a low-profile Louisiana community,” a source tells OK!.

The tome will be published by Thomas Nelson, a well-known Christian publisher. Praise the Lord that Judith Regan no longer has an imprint.

Ghost writers, fire up your quills- it's going to be a bumpy ride.

As you were
(Thanks D.C. for the head's up)