Knocked Up

A new round of pregnancies is rocking Hollywood and frankly, it makes me yearn for words like 'Childless by choice.'

So even if you operate under the assumption that even the tweeniest of celebs lie about their age by a year or two, what's the oldest that hoochie-in-training met her baby daddy in church Jamie Lynn Spears can be- 17 1/2? And already she's in the family way, as in following the esteemed path of her older train wreck of a sister. Thankfully, the powers that be have put Momma Lynne Spears book on parenting tips on permanent hiatus.

As for you Lily 'I'm in a rebound relationship/my career is moving rapidly towards the crapper/I can't keep the weight off so I might as well gain some legally' Allen, why? why oh why do you think a baby is in any way shape or form a good career or life move for you? Couldn't you just assume the mantle of one hit wonderness graciously and leave us about our business? The thought of you materni-frocking it makes me shiver in advance fear.

And you Jessica 'hot but talentless' Alba, did you not notice that it is in fact you who are the 'cash' cow in your relationship and not your named in Vegas boyfriend Cash Warren? What could you have been thinking? Oh, that Aguilera girl got all the headlines, I'll try gestational headline grabbing tactics and see where it takes me?

Sarah Silverman's mama-logue for next year's MTV awards just wrote itself.

As you were.....

More Than Just A Pretty Face

According to the Evening Echo Jessica Alba, an actress best known for being decorative, has declared that she is desperate to be known as more than a pretty face.

The actress revealed that she wants to be known as being smart. "Underneath, I'd prefer to be known for something else, like being tough or being smart. It makes me feel more confident to know I can hold my own in a fight than it does to look in the mirror and think I look beautiful."

Um, then you'd better start practicing that Krav Maga hon, cuz last I checked you have to actually be smart to be considered smart. I know in the movies all you have to do is don a pair of designer specs to play the smart girl, but real life actually relies on real knowledge- go figure!

Score one for the smart girls.

As You Were....