Sunday, October 28, 2007

Nature Abhors a Vacuum Cleaner- Toys for Overprivileged Tots

So determined was I not to clean this hovel that I leafed through not only the usual trashy mags, but even the Toys R Us newspaper insert. Here are some of the subversive toys I noticed.

Did you ever notice just how many kitchen related toys there are for kids? Laugh & Learn 2-in-1 learning kitchen has a happy smiling refrigerator - and they wonder why kids in this country are obese?

For the junior Facebook set there's a Hokey-Pokey Elmo. Why [make the minimal amount of social interaction] send a super Poke when Elmo can do it for you?

The Amazing Pets Skate 'n Tricks Puppy has his poor little paws encased in puppy in line skates- for when torturing your own pets isn't enough!

Disney has a Fairies DVD player and 13" TV with the remote shaped like a wand with a star at the end. Perfect for your little princess or budding queen.

There's also "A PINKtacular collection for girls!" along with a Pink Boutique edition of Monopoly. Because sugar coating the PINKazation of women's cancers and October/breast cancer awareness month just isn't offensive enough!

More Star Wars toys than you can fathom for the children of geeks who somehow managed to marry and procreate. The Ben 10 Deluxe Omnitirix watch thing will ensure that the little guy will have just as little social interaction, friends or dates as dad did.

Just in case you haven't completely neglected your kids in favor of showering them with pricy baubles, you still have time to splash out on Barbie Escalades and other kiddie friendly mini 'vettes and Humvees.

Incidentally, the Daisy Pocket Mod AKA kiddie Vespa is all mine.

As you were....

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