I love your e-mails, even if I don't answer all of them. Here are a couple of answers to your most common questions:1. No. I don't have any cats. I don't like cats. I've never seen Cats on Broadway either for that matter. I'm a Bitter Old Maid from Brooklyn, but not a STEREOTYPICAL Bitter Old Maid From Brooklyn - there's a major distinction. Read and learn young ones.
2. Yes, in fact one person did guess who I was. I lied and told him he was wrong though.
3. There is just one of me, this isn't a TMZ type situation, you won't find out later that there's an entire coven of B.O.M.B.s.
4. No, this isn't a publicity stunt for a new movie or anything a la LonelyGirl15, it's an outlet, and a fun way of amusing others and myself and requires neither batteries nor condoms.
5. Yes. I read all of your e-mails, and I love you right back.
6. It's actually surreal that my alter (altar) ego is exponentially more popular than I am.
7. Nah, I'm not going to write about Halle Berry and that nose comment, because I don't think she's a racist per se, just self involved and not terribly bright or P.C., I was more insulted about the faux after-statement in which she stated that she was talking backstage with 3 Jewish girls who work for her (I'll bet some of her best friends are Jewish! Maybe even Black!) besides, she's single and pregnant at 41 giving hope to single B.O.M.s everywhere, so in this at least she gets a special dispensation. Next time though, I'll be ready to rumble.
As You Were....
1 comment:
Dear Bitter,
My mother called yesterday and wanted to know why I didn't have a new man in my life - it's been a whoooooooooole bunch 'o months (ok maybe we're talking in year/s). Why all the first/second dates she wanted to know. Don't tell me there are no decent men out there she said.
I sighed heavily - thinking about how to answer and then - well, I sent her a link to your site.
It made me feel much better. She still hasn't stopped crying but she's laughing through her tears.
Now she thinks that single women have too much fun nowadays and that's why...
Maybe I should give my mom to Hallie Berry the unpolitically correct who really shouldn't have anything to say about anyone. I think you were way too kind about her. We've been ripping her from here to kingdom come at work and with my friends and I know people who were planning on seeing her movie and really are going to pass now....maybe the whole politically correct thing is going too far but...that's how it is.
Anyway - thanks for the snappy comeback I had for my Mom. Hopefully she'll get over it by Thanksgiving but secretly I think she'll probably become as hooked as I am.
A tired, bitter, disgruntled, getting older and older maid.
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